An Interview with Abigail George

NOVELTY FICTION – Your forthcoming book “When Bad Mothers Happened” seemingly reflects – sometimes literally, sometimes metaphorically – your own experiences as a child and young woman. What motivated you to write it? What was the process like?

ABIGAIL GEORGE – I began work on this book in the beginning of 2014. I was in my early thirties. I had reached a point in my life where I was thinking about what my legacy would be as a storyteller. It’s how I was raised. That it is important to leave a legacy. I felt I had an overwhelming responsibility to share a part of my history with other like-minded individuals. I wanted to help someone who found themselves in the same situation as me, and tell that person they weren’t alone. If not now, then when was I going to do this? That was my reasoning. That was the initial motivation behind the book.

The process wasn’t easy. There were some days I felt prepared and other days I felt ill prepared to tell my story. But I put the work in. I was determined to share my story. Every day, I would sit down at my computer and put in the effort. I wrote a few pages on a daily basis, and it soon began to add up. It was poetic prose all the way and not in a linear arrangement. Most, not all though, of my prose is written in this style and technique.

I wanted to write about mothers and daughters. The strained mother-and-daughter relationship. I had so much despair over this. Could people out there relate to my experience, my struggle, rage, and sadness? Did I put enough energy and variety into this? I had a lot of questions, and answers were not quick to come by; but I persevered, and this book is a testament to my inner strength. It is also a testimony of sorts. I want other women out there to know that they are not alone. I am an adult survivor of childhood abandonment issues. The adverse childhood experience. There are others just like me out there.

NOVELTY FICTION – Was writing this manuscript difficult, considering that it deals with mental disease, family dysfunction, and other sensitive issues?

ABIGAIL GEORGE – Of course it was difficult. Every day was an intense personal struggle, but I managed to get through it. Every day was a day in recovery, an uphill battle, but I did it and am proud of what I have achieved, which is this book. It was a hopeful enterprise, and the journey eventually reached its destination. I was committed and determined from the beginning.

NOVELTY FICTION – Now that the work has been completed and accepted for publication by Novelty Fiction, are you happy with it? Does it benefit you personally? If there are any negative sides to having written this, what are they, and do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

ABIGAIL GEORGE – I am glad that it is out in the world. There’s a release and massive relief. I want this book to be of benefit to others, first and foremost. It’s a difficult question to answer. The negative? I think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. One, publication of a book is an achievement. Two, when an individual shares their life story, something which they have overcome, I think that’s rather exceptional and brave. Three, to be a storyteller is to leave your footprint in the world, and others can perhaps relate to the circumstances I have found myself in.

NOVELTY FICTION – It seems that your depressive mood disorder is something you inherited from your father, Dr. Ambrose Cato George, as described in his recently published memoir “Against All Odds.” Knowing this, you are still pointing fingers at your own mother. Do you believed that she caused your illness or made it worse? Please elaborate.

ABIGAIL GEORGE – For a very long time, I blamed my mother for my fractured sense of identity, poor self-concept and low self-esteem, but I try not to do that anymore. There were definite feelings and issues of abandonment and a sense of neglect growing up. This has not changed. I have good days; certainly, I have bad days, but the good days outweigh the bad ones. In childhood, adolescence and even as an adult I have felt deeply unloved, even unwanted, and I have always been deeply ashamed of this. I have always been searching for the impact and steadfast influence of “second mothers.” Women who had the maternal instinct and who would take my mother’s place, who would show concern for me, offer a nurturing relationship, tenderness, acceptance and unconditional love.

I am older and wiser now. It is a choice whether or not to live with regret in your life, about the past. I really do believe that. I carry this illusion of my mother wherever I go with me, I love her from a safe distance, I admire her, the sacrifices she made. She stayed with my manic depressive father. She made sacrifices for myself and my siblings, but the fact remains that I don’t know what motivated her to do those things for me. I will never know; and in my case, I don’t think it was love. I do believe that if she had loved me unconditionally, I would have been a different person.

I have forgiven her. I had to for my own sense of self and emotional well-being. My sister is this magnificent being. Financially independent, emotionally secure. She made something of herself and lives in Europe. I do think it is because she had a different relationship with my mother. I will always love my mother, always. It hurts. The adverse childhood experience hurts as well as the unpredictable nature of the relationship. She has never said that she loves me, never said that she’s proud of me. I have had to accept and live with every negative repercussion. It’s really changed who I am at every level of my own humanity.

The mental, emotional and verbal negativity, abuse and suffering was noted by family members, and eventually they began to stay away and reject me. That’s what it looked and felt like to me. I was just a child. I experienced poor social skills, isolation and loneliness early on in my life. In circumstances such as this, I learned to rely on myself; I discovered creative writing, I would read, and I did read everything I could get my hands on. This saved me. At eight years old, I was writing. I realised, whether subconsciously or consciously, that outsiders looking in on my relationship with my mother weren’t going to save me. Forgiveness freed me. Learning self-love and self-care is an exquisite act of liberation, which leads you onward to personal freedom.

NOVELTY FICTION – If the message behind “When Bad Mothers Happen” could be compressed into one or two short sentences, what would that be?

ABIGAIL GEORGE – You can find personal happiness even if you felt deeply unloved and rejected by your own mother or father as a child, even if you experienced isolation and loneliness, despair and hardship in childhood. If you work hard, your dreams will come true, and it’s also a message of hope.

NOVELTY FICTION – Here in early 2024, what is life and writing like for you?

ABIGAIL GEORGE – I have chosen the writing life, or it has rather chosen me. At the moment, I am writing screenplays. I have a film I collaborated on in pre-production. Filming will start sometime in 2024. I started a new novel in September of last year, have three unpublished poetry manuscripts. I am constantly looking at submitting literary work to online journals and am in the midst of applying for a grant. I like to be busy. I also handle author relations for Abigail George Books, and write content for the National Writers Association of South Africa’s newsletter.

© 2024 by Novelty Fiction.